why bother

i do have thoughts of 'why do i even bother'
but where do they even come from ?
is this what it means to be 'jaded' ?

sometimes i really wonder what i am doing and what this all means. why does it feel like its so complicated when it is actually very simple. how did the mind get conditioned to respond in a certain way. how come i seem to be relearning how to look at things and how to respond to circumstances. is that the fun of life ?

why am i always so frustrated? something just isn't right.

i don't have to figure it all out at once
i am doing the best i can
i really want to feel better
it isn't all that bad
my life isn't hard at all
i am not enduring any real suffering
i am in control of my feelings

my only reality is in the current moment. the only time i can start to love who i am is now. i accept what i have created, my past and my present.

the rain is like tears

the sky knows the most apt times to release their load on the world. These cycles and rhythms coincide with my ebbs and flows, the ups and downs. Maybe i'm too in tune with the earth and what is happening.